It's Easter in the Middle East and Orthodox churches today ... yet it was Easter last weekend for the rest - can't Christianity get it right? Probably not!
At this time of year I find myself torn between the rational that my partner Jeff represents (you don't seriously believe in that Jesus rose again stuff do you? etc etc) and the comforting but probably completely irrational spiritual side that I feel I have always possessed.
I can excuse Jeff - he's a scientist dealing in facts and figures and arguably when most in need of proof that a loving, caring God existed, he was sadly let down. Daily we read of similarly tragic stories and have to wonder ... if my God loves me why does he subject me to so much pain? You probably need to be a theologian to answer that: I certainly can't.
My kind of God, though, is one in whom I confide rather than charge with winning me the lottery ... though I probably do hope He'll be there for me if I need. Through that confidence I believe I do get some sort of positive direction and comfort.
So where does that place me within the Church? Well, I'm an Anglican - so I can rebel as much as I like and yet still claim to be of that broader church! In my early childhood I was influenced a great deal by the teachings and story of St. Francis - something that still intrigues me to this day. Patron saint of animals, he was also something of a rebel and probably deeply disturbing person to be physically close to - but his tenacity and intense confidence with his God must have been inspirational. He was a great innovator and is responsible for not only the Stations of the Cross found in Catholic churches but also our Christmas cribs.
St. Francis travelled to the Middle East to engage with Muslim scholars and I feel that he probably would share my personal view that there is as much in Islam for the Christian Church today to learn from as we perceive with our Western values that there is in the Christian tradition for the Islamic world to learn. And yet in the meantime we choose (as was happening in his day) to fight one another for our view of what our God wants us to do, the creed and customs or traditions that He might want us to practice and so on. We call upon our "loving" God to protect us and then despatch soldiers or mercenaries or others to kill and maim in His name.
When I look around the modern "secular" Britain I find it satisfying that we no longer are subjected to irresponsible and irrationale interpretations of Christian morality to dictate how we should behave or conduct ourselves (no gay person could!) but I also feel saddened that in moving away from that clarity of the "ideal" world we have thrown out all sense of public decency, kindness to others and tolerance of other people.
In My Father's house there are many rooms and I go ahead to prepare one for you - that's my God: loving, considerate, tolerant, omnipotent.
Happy Easter!
